SIX of NINE: Passages

Posted on August 9, 2010


Priesthood Correlation merely names, in the future, the coordination of scheduling software and surveillance apps among agents of the Church who hold keys to its real and virtual properties (How long until “hearing confession” is a Facebook status for LDS bishops?).  This streamlined referentiality trimmed some of the congregational fat from the present-day term Priesthood, as “ward functions” like moving families in and out of homes, holiday parties, visiting the lonely, healing the sick, and Sacrament meetings, are deemed outsourceable. 

The Sunday meetings occur online, as heavy investment in digital technologies rendered maintenance and upkeep of chapels unviable strategies once their full costs were calculated against the entirely unexpected and very real devaluation of real property.  Podcast GeneralConference airs weekly in its place, and Saints are asked to supply their own bread and water for sacrament services conducted by online priests (and a few hold-out neighborhood High Priests).  Digital bread and water are also available for digital avatars.  So to the ether of the digital realm Mormons will flock, as the avatar of the Prophet sets its IM status on “prophesying”, and also correlates its Facebook status to the same.  The vicarious rites conducted at the LDS temples continue, but in order to increase efficiency one body is made to carry hundreds, and then thousands, of “names”, until each attendee is simply named for a ward, and then a stake, where congregate thousands of the dead. Direct deposit of tithes all but eliminates the remaining functions of ward bishops.  They remain, however, as volunteer administrators whose job-description is the referral of Mormons to various for-profit social service-providers (e.g., psychiatrists, psychologists, therapists, and counselors, depending on one’s income), thus converting the ancient category of “sin” into the modern “illness.” 

 Yes, Priesthood Correlation has become so natural to the religion, even by the turn of the recent century, that few more-active LDS would consider a non-Priesthood Correlated Mormonism any Mormonism at all.  He is assured of a dusty seat, but one yet under the wagon’s canvas.  And far from the ground, too: in the airs of the digital, most likely, he draws breath, for local and global blend well online, and new spatial and temporal relations fulfill the old Sixties aims of Priesthood Correlation: to summon the general authority of priesthood at every locality.

That leaves Sister Discursive and Brother Content to walk, and walk, and walk.

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